Katya Karpenko, Teen Psychologist: Articles for Parents of Teenagers
When things get hard with a teenager, it's rarely about one bad child or one bad parent. It's usually about how talking works at home, and the adult is the one who can change their part first. These articles take common situations apart step by step: what is going on, what to say, and when to get help.
Articles for parents of teenagers
- Teenage Daughter Disrespectful to Her Mother: What to Do
- Always Arguing With Your Teenage Daughter? How to Break the Cycle
- Angry Outbursts at 12: Why They Happen and What Helps
- Why Does My Teenager Sleep So Much?
- Should You Take Away Your Teenager's Phone as Punishment?
- My 14-Year-Old Has No Friends: How Parents Can Help
- Teenager Anxious About the Future: How to Support Them
- How to Rebuild Trust With Your Teenage Daughter
- Teenager Staying Out Late: How to Agree on a Curfew That Works
- My Teenager Says "I Hate You": How to Respond
- Conversation Cards or a Parenting Course: Which Fits Your Situation?
Recorded courses for parents, explained in English
About Katya
I'm Katya Karpenko, a teen psychologist, systemic family therapist and EFT therapist. I help parents and teenagers get out of conflicts and bring connection back into the family.
I don't work with a "difficult child" on their own. I work with the family as a system: what happens with a teenager is almost always tied to how communication is set up at home, who reacts how, what can be said and what can't, how arguments end. That's why change starts with the adult. It's not about guilt. The adult is simply the only one who can change their part by decision, and the teenager's behaviour follows, usually faster than parents expect.
I don't hand out universal tricks. The same sentence works differently at eleven and at sixteen, and differently in different families. So in every article you'll find the age differences and the limits of each method.
And I'm honest about where my field ends. I'm a psychologist, not a doctor: diagnoses and treatment belong to medical specialists. When a situation needs a doctor or face-to-face help, the articles say so plainly.
I'm a mother of two teenagers myself, so much of what I write I check in my own kitchen. Nobody gets it perfect, psychologists included. Being a good-enough parent and staying close is enough.
What I do
My main work is closed online groups for teenagers. At this age the opinion of peers weighs more than any adult's words. When a teenager hears from others just like them that they're going through the same thing, the heaviest feeling of the age lifts: "I'm the only one who's this messed up." Parents aren't in the teen groups, and that's what makes them work. Parents have a group of their own, to look at their own reactions and get their strength back.
I also write books for teenagers and parents. All my groups, books and channels are in Russian.
For parents I have recorded video courses, in Russian, on boundaries, motivation, emotions and friendships. Each one is explained in English here. Not sure whether you need a course at all, or just better questions at dinner? Read conversation cards or a parenting course.
Questions parents ask
Do you work with families who don't speak Russian?
Not at the moment. My groups, books and channels are all in Russian, so they suit families where both the teenager and the parent are comfortable in Russian. The English articles here are free for anyone to read.
We're a Russian-speaking family living abroad. Can my teenager join a group?
Yes. The groups meet online, so the country you live in doesn't matter. What matters is that your teenager can talk freely in Russian with peers.
Are parents present in the teen groups?
No. Teenagers meet in a closed group that I lead myself, and the absence of parents is what lets them speak openly. Parents have a group of their own, where we look at their reactions and they get their strength back.
What ages are the teen groups for?
There are three groups by age: 10–12, 13–14, and 15 and older. They don't mix, because a twelve-year-old and a sixteen-year-old need different conversations.
Is this therapy or medical treatment?
No. I'm a psychologist, not a doctor, so I don't diagnose or prescribe treatment. If you're worried about your child's health or safety, start with a doctor, and if there is danger right now, call your local emergency number.
Do you have recorded courses for parents?
Yes, in Russian. They are short video courses on motivation, emotions, personal boundaries, self-confidence, separation and friendship, and you watch them at your own pace. All of them are listed on the Russian courses page.